Jesus Christ Superstar and A Christmas Rant!


I have been bugging my wife for a while to watch JC Superstar with me.  I don’t think she really understood that as a rock opera there was literally zero talking.  I also think she is perplexed by my wanting to watch it, seeing as she has no connection to religion or the bible.  Watching it got me thinking about Christmas as well as the movie that I really enjoy.

Starting with the flick.  I am pretty sure I could sing you that show beginning to end, I really like it for some reason.  I definitely could function as Judas’ understudy on broadway, he has the best songs.  Our family isn’t religious and I am most definitely a fully committed atheist.  However this movie is a good one from where I stand.  It makes the bible stuff consumable on a more believable level.  Jesus is a bit of a glory whore in it.  Preaching to those around him about their foolishness but also basking in their interpretive dance directed at him.  Enjoying the pampering offered by Mary Magdalene while scolding others for doing their thing in the temple.  He comes across as a bit self entitled.  Believable way a guy proclaimed Messiah would act.  On the other hand the traditional villains of the story are cast in a better light.  Well not King Herod, that dude is full on nuts.  But Pilate is obviously stricken with the stress of his office and sees punishing Jesus as both a curse and a stupid pleasure for the Jewish people.  Most redeemable though is Judas.  Judas is just trying to be a good pal the whole movie.  Warning JC he is walking down a really bad path.  Followed by realizing he is just part of Jesus’ stupid plan to martyr himself and thereby make himself a big deal.  Finally he is torn apart by the guilt but only as he truly realizes how his hand was forced.  Plus the dude just has the badass songs in the movie.  It is believable that Judas and Pilate felt pain and pressure to make decisions, obviously Jesus was happy to die the way the story goes so these dudes are just pawns in his game.  The movie leaves you with the question, was the whole thing just a setup by Jesus to gain fame and notoriety, leave a legacy or is it real.  I think the movie leans towards self proclamation.

Watching this movie got me thinking of my own thoughts about christianity, with Christmas approaching it has been a topic.

I know there isn’t a god, but that doesn’t preclude me from enjoying some bible tales.  I think there is some valuable history hidden in those pages of a world long forgotten.  And also some interesting fables.  But the truth is the god portrayed in that book is a violent, hating bigot who has no redeemable quality that I can see.  He kills women and children to prove a point and preaches forgiveness while burning down cities of sinners and offering up the plague to those who get in his way.  Kind of seems like a jerk to me.  Once again he hasn’t done a whole lot of proving himself, just based on the prayer batting average.  Well below the Mendoza Line, well, well below.

But each year we get those who want to explain to us the meaning of Christmas, you know that asshole who wants to tell you how we need to put the Christ back in Christmas.  He is met at the other end by a bunch of pricks who can’t help but go way to PC and want the word Christmas banned altogether.  You know where I stand on the whole god thing, so as you can guess, there is no Christ in our Christmas.  There is a fat guy who magically squeezes down chimneys and some fun songs.  Most importantly there is a lot of family.  Christmas was always about family, over to Grandma’s house christmas eve where we all sacrificed an evening of painful church to stand by Grandma on what she liked.  We have all since stopped attending the Christmas Eve fidget festival.  That is what Christmas is.  It is me trying hopelessly to find the best gift for my wife, knowing full well she will find something better for me.  This year I think I did ok, will blog to you in a couple days about my success.  It is about new PJs on Christmas Eve from Mom and Dad, about A decoration for the tree from my wife and it is about watching my Niece (now 2 of those) rip into gifts as well.  It is about our family getting together to play for the Van Dyk Cup a trophy handed out to the winners of the annual Christmas Eve war of board game supremacy (this years title is Headbandz Charades).  My wife’s early morning wife saver and the lovely Turkey that evening.  It is also about the countdown to Macs Midget Hockey.  All these things are awesome and enjoyable and they are Christmas.  They aren’t holidays or anything else, in our house they are Christmas.  It is a real piss of when someone insists that Christmas needs to be replaced by another word to accommodate someone else’s beliefs.  Honestly I bet most people with non-christian beliefs don’t give a fuck about what you call it.  In fact probably lots are really enjoying the season regardless.  And really who cares if the christians stole it from some Pagan holiday, you don’t need to be so sensitive, us atheists are stealing it from the christians.  If you can’t put aside your own self serving agenda and realize that when someone says “Merry Christmas” they aren’t trying to fuck with you they are just being friendly.  The world could use a few more Christmas’ throughout the year to loosen all you crusty pricks up. Say Merry Christmas back and nod, regardless if you celebrate or not, it is just a friendly way to interact.  Have some fun at this time of year, if it is about some biblical zombie, that is totally cool enjoy it, I just don’t want to hear about how that dude on a stick is the only meaning of Christmas.  If it is about some fat cookie eating dude that is cool too.  Hell if you just want the pure materialistic portion of getting gifts that is also fine.  Christmas is whatever you want it to be, just have a fucking Merry Christmas!

2 thoughts on “Jesus Christ Superstar and A Christmas Rant!

  1. LOL. Christmas Eve Fidget Festival.

    Also, my favourite JC Superstar tune is:
    So, you are the Christ, you’re the great Jesus Christ.
    Prove to me that you’re no fool; walk across my swimming pool.


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