Those of you who have taken the time to read this blog will know a couple of things. 1) I don’t really do a great job of filtering myself. 2) I am pretty much an asshole most of the time. Now in all fairness that asshole is also incredibly loyal and protective of his he cares about, but an asshole none the less.
Anyways, if you think I am a pain in the ass on here, you should deal with me every day. That isn’t to say I spend every waking hour letting out my list of unwanted and stupid thoughts. I take about an hour off every day, to play video games or read. So my wife knows everyday she is going to wake up to a man who is going to say what he thinks and basically be a giant pain in the ass. Along with that I don’t listen well and I procrastinate every possible responsibility she could give me. Perfect real example just came up as I typed. Three times my wife has asked me to change the cat litter today. Each time I have been honest and said I haven’t yet and each time I have told her I will. Of course you have to wonder what she thinks since I haven’t completed the task one of the other times she asked. Basically my wife married a child but not just a child one who is incredibly useless.
On my end I deal with an incredibly driven woman. Not so bad but her drive leads her to be a touch on the obsessive side. I know it makes a lot of sense for her to marry a non-obsessive pain in the ass right.
Trust me we have lots of things that we disagree on and probably should be fighting more. When we do fight she is usually right (almost completely none of this each person has something right shit of normal disagreements), and I am usually the instigator by my stupid decisions or actions. Now there is the odd time I am right, but for the sake of this blog I am drawing an example blank. Here is the thing, we might see the world differently and have very different personalities but we work well together.
I think a lot of relationships are best handled by the stay away approach. People really like each other as long as they spend time a part or have a differing group of friends for free time. Unfortunately for my wife, she married an ass, and I have no friends so she is it. We spend a ton of time together, hobbies and family time. We live together, we go to the gun range or to the bar or anywhere together and after all that we coach hockey together. No separate time and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
This week we had a disagreement that really made it clear to me how much I love my wife. See I was doing something stupid, totally in my personality and something I will do again, and my wife was there for it. She was mad and she did that silent treatment shit. That just pisses a guy off. So we had a disagreement and got heated. An hour later we were sitting over a coffee discussing our differing view points. Even though my wife is right, I am an ass and don’t need to be like that, I am also aware I am just like that and will do the same thing again. I told her I work hard to extend the timeline between stupid moments but she knew that was part of me. The truth is, if everyone could have pay-per-viewed our discussion they would land on her side. I am a tool and I know it. So she could sit there and gloat and explain to me the whole world thinks I am an ass. Instead, just like every time she is right, she listened to me and we discussed it. See she realizes I am the way I am and won’t change completely but she also doesn’t go to war to win a fight. In fact we don’t have a score card, it seems like everyone loses our fights and it isn’t about being right. Before I met her I would have fought to be right and to gloat when I was. She has spent a lot of years getting me to talk. I look at the people we know and see their relationships and I think the most valuable thing my wife has taught me is not to fight to win. We move on and put it behind us but we always talk and never return to it.
Don’t get my wrong, I am sure my wife regularly purchases arsenic and mixes it into my food, but by now I have built up a tolerance and she isn’t sure if she wanted to give me that final kick out the door. So for the rest of our lives I will do stupid shit, get a lecture, be hurt I got a lecture, talk it out and go to a movie with my wife. Seems to be working.