Are You Offended By Me? I Hope So!

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Most of the people who know me, and I mean the actual me not internet me, would use the word abrasive to describe me.  Those on the internet may have even referred to my internet alter ego as a bit troll like.

While I do have the ability to push buttons on forms or social media, I actually wanted to stay away from trolling on my blog.  I do try and allow the normal person, hidden deep inside of me out on this blog.  I have tried to vary my topics from our day to day life, to politics and little sports.  I write some soft stuff, not meant to piss anyone off.  But I also think I want that abrasive side coming through, something that gets you thinking about my post.

The other day I stumbled on an article about controversial writing.  I read the article and how it advised people to blog on hot button topics, or taboo topics.  It talked about wanting to create controversy, and a voice that got people invested in the article.  I agreed, it also talked about not pissing off your own readers.  I guess if my goal is only a grand view total, this would hit home better. But I don’t know if I totally agree. While I probably shouldn’t call you a moron, and I will try to only do that once in a while, I don’t mind if you are reading because you disagree.  In fact if you disagree please leave a comment as to why.  I am not here collecting expert opinions or trying to validate my beliefs with the number of like minded comments.  No, I would love some people who think I am crazy.  My first few posts, especially about guns, got a guy Bob (3boxesofBS) commenting.  I don’t think we agreed, but I liked his differing opinion.  As I should.

I don’t think my willingness to have people with differing opinions interact is the norm.  I stumbled on an article about fertility treatments.  The author had published a wonderful piece about the varying drugs and supplements that may or may not be a part of someones fertility treatment.  I was excited to interact, having seen some familiar friends on the list.  In fact I even saw a drug that the author claimed was for people with our diagnosis.  It is a remedy with little to know scientific backing and actually isn’t geared towards us at all.  Trust us we tried it, results sucked! In fact we tried it against our doctors advice, but he said it wouldn’t hurt, it just wouldn’t help either.  But there, at the end of her article was a comment about only wanting comments that had a scientific study to go along with it.  I didn’t need a scientific study, I could give her first hand info and the word of the doctors at our clinic, it doesn’t work that way.  I realized that my story didn’t validate her belief in this drug and while it is easy to find supporting evidence claiming a miracle drug. Often counter scientific documents don’t come until that drug is proven.  I think though, this lady was just not interested in a different opinion.

I see it all the time, people seeking validation for their beliefs, ignoring other sides.  Sites like Facebook and Twitter cater to this idea.  The “if you don’t agree I will block or unfriend you” generation has taken hold.  Someone is telling people that only their opinion counts.  Even worse they are telling people you are entitled to your opinion without having to hear others.  Why are you entitled to that?  Because our society is full of a bunch of wusses.  People who have such thin skin, we wonder if there is actually any protective value.  A society where we are beat over the head with the idea we shouldn’t offend others.  When politics isn’t a conversation to be had over the dinner table or between friends.  Why can’t we talk politics?  Because something might be said between two people and they won’t get along after that.  What the hell is wrong with these people?   If you can’t get along with somebody because you don’t agree with their views, well why are you hanging out with them in the first place and two why are you so soft.

Here is the deal, every time I open my mouth, there is someone, somewhere who may be offended.  Guess what, I don’t care.  In fact if I wasted time caring, I would be paralyzed by self censorship.  If you don’t agree with me great, if you don’t think I am entitled to disagree with you, you are a moron.  I know I am not supposed to call names, kills readership, but honestly, why can’t we disagree.  Why can’t we even disagree in a heated manner?   Nobody is hurt by a little verbal jousting.  In fact some historical figures, see Plato, Socrates etc., might suggest a verbal joust is ideal.  The only time your beliefs are a problem for me is when you try to force them on other people.  When you try to force legislation or engage in litigation over anthers opinion.  When you physically attack someone who doesn’t see your side. Otherwise have at it, that is why we are supposed to have free speech.  And don’t worry I know free speech is a myth of Western Civilizations.  That is why we fight over it so often.  Stop being offended and start formulating a rebuttal.

I don’t really care about your feelings in regards to beliefs that are counter to mine, that is why they are my beliefs.  But if you have a good argument you may sway me in to your camp.  It will have to be damn good though, my beliefs are strongly held.  I welcome your counter point, I even welcome your verbal frustration.  At some point you may argue with me and call me closed minded.  Guess what, I am, we all are, that is why we fight for beliefs.  You got to pry this mind open with a verbal crowbar, but I want you to try.

Don’t sit there pissed off and think I don’t want to hear how offended you are.  It is the total opposite, tell me you don’t like what I say, I want to know.  Passion is what drives change in society, and take a look around, don’t be fooled, our society is in desperate need of drastic change.

5 thoughts on “Are You Offended By Me? I Hope So!

  1. Thanks for the shout out. I understand where you are coming from; I too value and seek out not just confirmation of my beliefs but people who challenge me to think differently.
    One of my favorite quotes is from Socrates “An unexamined life is not worth living”.

    I think the issue for me revolves around ‘why’ people are offended; did I say something that is fundamentally wrong (all men are scum) or did I challenge a personal perception (Illegal immigration is wrong and should be stopped.)

    Too few people are willing to examine their beliefs, to defend them against a contrary opinion. If you can’t defend it without resorting to “Because I said so” then you haven’t really thought through your belief.

    Other issue is the major difference between manners and politically correctness. I may not agree with your positions but I’m not going to call you a knuckle dragging buffoon. That is bad manners but I’m also not going to accept that I have to only use terms you find acceptable.

    If you can’t get along with somebody because you don’t agree with their views, well why are you hanging out with them in the first place and two why are you so soft.

    I don’t know of a single person that I agree with 100 % on every issue; including my wife and we agree on most issues. It would be boring to hang around with just an echo of myself. I also don’t let minor disagreements over beliefs destroy friendships — that is part of the fun of having friends. Finding out where we agree and don’t.

    I worry less about offending people and worry more about living my life in such a way that people will understand I don’t mean to offend them but politely state by beliefs.

    Bob S.

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    • Life is supposed to be fun. Disagree is what drives a discussion. My wife and I disagree about the use of the English language in Canada. It was a 40 minute debate as we drove out to our camp site. It was fun. While it isn’t my goal to offend, I realize many are offended too easily. And for that reason I don’t get too worried about offending others. It is a sad world we live in, that opinions are considered things to be kept private.

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